我告訴我的女朋友鉆石不過就是碳而已，沒啥真正用處，她把我甩了，為什么？
I told my girlfriend that diamond is just carbon and has no real use. She dumped me. Why?
譯文簡介
我最近在和一位非常有魅力的男士聊天。他屬于那種只要和女孩子談?wù)搸追昼娋湍軌蚺莸脚⒌娜?。他告訴我一個(gè)非常重要的觀點(diǎn)，他跟我說，邁克爾，女孩子不在乎你說什么，她們關(guān)心的是你為什么會這么說。
正文翻譯
I’ve been talking to an incredibly charismatic guy recently, the type of guy who picks up girls within minutes of a conversation. He told me, “Michael, girls don’t care about what you say. They care about why you’re saying it.”
我最近在和一位非常有魅力的男士聊天。他屬于那種只要和女孩子談?wù)搸追昼娋湍軌蚺莸脚⒌娜?。他告訴我一個(gè)非常重要的觀點(diǎn)，他跟我說，邁克爾，女孩子不在乎你說什么，她們關(guān)心的是你為什么會這么說。
我最近在和一位非常有魅力的男士聊天。他屬于那種只要和女孩子談?wù)搸追昼娋湍軌蚺莸脚⒌娜?。他告訴我一個(gè)非常重要的觀點(diǎn)，他跟我說，邁克爾，女孩子不在乎你說什么，她們關(guān)心的是你為什么會這么說。
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, I have friends in high places
So, why are you telling your girlfriend that a diamond is useless?There are two things she might be thinking:
To her, that diamond (I’m assuming you're talking about buying a ring) may symbolize your love for her. She could feel hurt that you don't seem willing to spend a lot of money on her. You might have appeared like you only wanted a casual relationship and you weren’t willing to think of investing in her. Every girl wants to find someone who will give her the world.
所以，那么問題來了。你為什么和你的女朋友說鉆石沒有什么用處？她可能想兩件事：
對她來說，那個(gè)鉆石可能代表著你對她的愛。但是你看起來并不想要在她身上花多少錢。她可能會感到很受傷。你可能表現(xiàn)出你只是想要一段很隨意的關(guān)系。你不想要在她身上投資。每一個(gè)女孩都想找到一個(gè)能夠給她整個(gè)世界的人。
如果一個(gè)女孩想要什么東西，而你用冰冷的邏輯回絕了她。這會傷害到她。如果你沒有讓她感覺到她很特別或者是被愛。她不會在乎你的邏輯有多么正確。在這種情況下，你應(yīng)該要非常巧妙的去表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)。你要跟她說明你有更好的東西來代替鉆石。以此來表達(dá)你對她的愛。比如可能是一個(gè)美好的浪漫蜜月。
You dodged a bullet. She might just want you to spend money on her. Your logic is right and if you’ve shown that you care about her, she should understand the point.If she understands your logic and knows that you love her, but leaves you anyways over not getting an expensive ring, then she’s either just after money or she was done with the relationship anyway and wanted an excuse. When you find a girl who knows that you still love her when you tell her that a diamond is just carbon and loves your practicality, then you’ve found the one you should be with and I wish you a very happy relationship.
現(xiàn)在要說第二種情況：
你躲過了一劫，事實(shí)上她可能只是想讓你在她身上花錢而已。你的邏輯是對的，如果你表現(xiàn)出關(guān)心她，那么她應(yīng)該就能夠理解這一點(diǎn)。如果她能夠理解你的邏輯，知道你愛她。但是她卻因?yàn)槟銢]有給她買昂貴的戒指而離開你。那么要么她只是為了錢，要么就是想結(jié)束這段關(guān)系，她只是想找個(gè)借口。當(dāng)你找到了一個(gè)女孩，當(dāng)你告訴她鉆石只是碳元素。但是她知道你仍然愛她，并且喜歡你的真誠，那么她就是那個(gè)你應(yīng)該和她在一起的人。
Remember, when you’re talking romantically with a girl, intention matters more than substance. Promise a girl a Lamborghini with all your heart and she’ll feel just as happy as if you’d actually gotten her one.
記住，當(dāng)你和一個(gè)女孩談情說愛的時(shí)候，你的內(nèi)心所想比實(shí)質(zhì)更重要。全心全意的向一個(gè)女孩承諾一輛蘭博基尼。她會像你真的給她買了一輛一樣高興。
, lived in Baltimore
There are really two types of diamonds.The shiny rocks whose purpose is to look pretty.
Industrial diamonds used to make saw blades to cut thru damn near anything.
Neither type is rare. Maybe you got dumped because you had a shitty attitude about her wanting a ring. Maybe you weren't willing to compromise on the issue. Or maybe this was just one more thing she added to the “things I don't like about him” list.
鉆石有兩種，有一種是非常光亮的?？雌饋矸浅Ｆ?。另外一種就是工業(yè)用途叫金剛石。金剛石可以用來切割任何東西。這兩種類型的鉆石都不罕見。也許你被甩僅僅是因?yàn)槟銓λ胍@石戒指的態(tài)度表現(xiàn)的很糟糕。也許你不想在這個(gè)問題上妥協(xié)。也許這只是壓在駱駝身上的最后一根稻草。
, Award-Winning Scifi Author, Analog regular
Franklin Veaux, Has been known to date
Maybe she just wasn’t the right girl.
My now wife was a biology teacher who had turned down an opportunity to work in bioweapon defense for the US Army. She told me diamond is just carbon and isn’t even rare, but is hoarded by the De Beers cartel to create artificial scarcity (all of which I knew) and that she’d much rather have cubic zirconium and a nice honeymoon and save the diamonds for making industrial abrasives.As it turned out, we had rings made using diamonds from my mother’s rings and saved a lot of scratch that way. Florida was great.
也許她就是不適合你。我現(xiàn)在妻子是一名生物教師。她拒絕了一個(gè)為美國陸軍從事生物研究的機(jī)會。她告訴我鉆石只是碳元素而已，并不稀有。而且是被戴比爾斯囤積起來，哄抬起來的。目的就是為了制造稀缺性。這些我也知道。她寧愿擁有一個(gè)鋯石戒指，然后一個(gè)美好的蜜月。她覺得鉆石應(yīng)該留給制造業(yè)。后來我們用我母親鉆戒上的鉆石重新做了戒指。佛羅里達(dá)是一個(gè)非常棒的地方。
Donna Fernstrom
Now, THIS is a ring: Dinosaur fossil, meteorite, and laboratory opal:
Who would want blood diamonds when you could have something honestly special?
現(xiàn)在，這里有一個(gè)戒指：恐龍化石，隕石或者其它的東西。如果你擁有更好的東西，誰會在乎血鉆？
Mine's a geologist. She wanted nothing to do with diamonds either. Bought her a car instead.
我的女朋友是一個(gè)地質(zhì)學(xué)家，她也不想和鉆戒扯上關(guān)系，我最終給她買了一輛車。
Vicki Lingle
I know all that about diamonds, but I still love them. They are particularly beautiful when worn in the sun, when they sparkle. It's a waste to wear them only in the evening.
我知道鉆石的一切，但我還是很愛它們。當(dāng)帶上它們在陽光下閃閃發(fā)光的時(shí)候，顯得特別漂亮。只在晚上佩戴鉆石實(shí)在是太可惜了。
Zircons actually have more “fire” to them as they have a higher refractive index. They sparkle brighter.
-Edit: It’s not higher RI as I had remembered, it’s higher “fire” which is a sort of rating of sparkliness. It gets it from a higher RI dispersion — that is, how different the RI is at red versus blue, thus making the internal reflections spit different colors.
鉆石看起來光芒四射，這是因?yàn)樗齻冇懈叩恼凵渎?。鉆石分為很多不同的等級。而且由于切割工藝的關(guān)系，鉆石會反射出不同的顏色。
I saw a statistic the other day on the rarity of diamonds.There are enough diamonds already mined to give every human in the world a cup of them.
前幾天我看過一篇關(guān)于鉆石稀缺性的一個(gè)統(tǒng)計(jì)數(shù)據(jù)。已經(jīng)開采的鉆石足夠給全世界每個(gè)人來上一杯。
Most of those are industrial and have already been ground to powder in drill bits. They’re not talking gem quality by a long shot. Synthetic diamonds have a size limit of about 1.5 carats.
你上面說的那些鉆石，大部分都是工業(yè)用的。已經(jīng)被磨成粉末。你說的不是寶石級的鉆石。當(dāng)然也有人造鉆石，但是人造鉆石的尺寸被限制在1.5克拉左右。
I told my now husband I wanted his birthstone as my engagement ring. He wanted a traditional diamond which I dislike for many reasons. We compromised and I got the main stone an aquamarine and tiny diamonds around it and we're both happy.
我告訴我現(xiàn)在的丈夫，我想要她的生辰石作為我的訂婚戒指。但是他想要購買一顆傳統(tǒng)的鉆石。不過我不喜歡鉆石，理由有很多。最終我們妥協(xié)了，我買了寶石鑲鉆的戒指，我們都很高興。
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You can get lab-made diamonds - much cheaper than the DeBeers monopoly, and much better quality because the synthetic process removes the impurities.
你可以得到實(shí)驗(yàn)室制造的鉆石，她們的價(jià)格比戴比爾斯的要便宜的多，質(zhì)量也好的多。因?yàn)槿斯ず铣傻你@石可以去除雜質(zhì)。
There were some from Italy at a jewelry exhibition years ago. I should have just bought them!!
在幾年前意大利珠寶展上我看到過一些，我當(dāng)時(shí)應(yīng)該直接買下來的。
Many years ago, Steven Levitt, the author of Freakinomics, told a story about buying his wife something like 10 pairs of cubic zirconia earrings. That way it didn’t matter if she lost one. She’d always had anxiety wearing expensive jewelry, afraid she might loose one. The cubic zirconias solved that issue and she claimed it was her favorite gift he’d ever given her.
很多年前怪誕經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)的作者史蒂芬.萊維特講過一個(gè)故事。她給妻子買過十對立方氧化鋯耳環(huán)。這樣的話，她丟了也無所謂。因?yàn)樗拮釉谂宕靼嘿F的鉆石的時(shí)候總是焦慮不安，擔(dān)心會弄丟。立方氧化鋯成功的解決了這個(gè)問題。她妻子對她說，這是她送給妻子最好的禮物。
My wife laughed when I bought her a bag of charcoal and said its cheaper when you buy in bulk . Maybe it’s a virtue of women who work in science lol
我給妻子買了一袋木炭，她笑了。她說如果批量買的話會更便宜。也許這是從事科學(xué)工作女性的一種美德，哈哈哈。
Had it been me, I would have told you to hold your own barbecue. Not much else I could do with it (yes, I know there are other uses).
如果是我，我會讓你再去拿烤肉。因?yàn)閱渭兘o我木炭，我也干不了什么。
With a can of lighter fluid and a ten-pound bag of diamonds (industrial, presumably or synthetic) you can absolutely hold a barbeque. Far from being “forever,” diamond will burn just like graphite or good charcoal, and burn down to radiant coals suitable for grilling, but given its structure, it’s a bit harder to ignite.
鉆石遠(yuǎn)非永恒，它會像石墨和優(yōu)質(zhì)的木炭一樣燃燒。但是考慮到它的分子結(jié)構(gòu)，想點(diǎn)燃它沒有那么容易。
Profile photo for Alicia Parmiter
Well, that’s just advertising hyperbole. It worked, didn’t it? And they really are far less prone to abrasion than other stones. I have seen some horrid damage to old sapphires and emeralds. Nevertheless, though corundum may well be 9 on the Mohs scale and diamond 10, the gap between 9 and 10 is very great indeed, it’s not a linear scale. Diamond makes superior drill bits, and industrial diamonds are a serious business.But “white” diamonds are very pure carbon indeed. I wouldn’t waste them on industrial processes, they’re too pretty, and far less common than industrial.
好吧，這只是有點(diǎn)夸張的廣告而已。但是這廣告畢竟起作用了，不是嗎？而且相比較而言，鉆石是非常耐磨損的。比其它石頭都好得多。我見過一些古老的藍(lán)寶石和祖母綠，她們本身都遭到了很嚴(yán)重的損壞。雖然剛玉在莫氏硬度中可以達(dá)到9，但是鉆石可以達(dá)到10。9和10之間的差距確實(shí)很大。這種差距并不是線性的。金剛石可以制造出優(yōu)質(zhì)的鉆石。當(dāng)然，也有一些金剛石品質(zhì)不佳。
雖然人工合成鉆石可以達(dá)到五克拉的水平。但是紅鉆石是如何形成的，目前仍然不清楚。它們本身真的非常罕見。我懷疑它們是否值得進(jìn)行破壞性測試，當(dāng)然如果實(shí)在有必要的話，也可以試試。其它彩色鉆石的顏色范圍就很廣，藍(lán)色，黃色，橙色，粉色，甚至還有綠色的鉆石。綠色鉆石是通過長期照射產(chǎn)生的。
If I were king of the world, all diamonds would be used only for industrial cutting tools!
如果我是地球球長的話，我就把所有的鉆石都用來進(jìn)行工業(yè)切割。
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That would be a shame, as diamond is one of the most versatile materials of all time. It is chemically/biologically inert, unrivaled in hardness, the best thermal conductor of any single material, fastest speed of sound, incredibly transparent over a large range of wavelengths, and even hosts several promising qubits. It has lots of applications, such as in windows, diamond anvil cells and also has huge potential in high power, high frequency electronics applications. The uses of diamond are virtually endless, but yes, using it for jewelry when more interesting looking, cheaper gemstones exist is a real waste.
如果你真這樣子的話，那將會是一個(gè)巨大的遺憾。鉆石是有史以來最多用途的材料之一。鉆石在化學(xué)和生物上都具有惰性。而且它們的硬度無與倫比。鉆石還是非常好的良導(dǎo)體，聲波在鉆石中傳播速度很快。鉆石在很大波長的范圍內(nèi)都是透明的。有缺陷的鉆石甚至可以進(jìn)行量子運(yùn)算。鉆石有很多的應(yīng)用。金剛石本身有很高的功率。在高頻電子方面，鉆石也有應(yīng)用。鉆石的用途幾乎是無窮無盡的。有更有趣，更便宜的寶石存在時(shí)，卻把金剛石拿出來作為寶石。這才是真正的浪費(fèi)。
We have no way of knowing without further context.I suspect the answer you're looking for is that she's a heartless gold-digging shrew who's only interested in you if you shower her with money and expensive jewellery.But it could be a variety of other reasons.It could be completely unrelated to your statement about diamonds.Could be because she's really into some of the alternative uses of diamonds and you're just plain wrong, as others have said. Even if we assume it's because she wanted a diamond ring or jewellery, there are still multiple reasons:
She wanted a commitment, and believes you aren't going to give her thatShe wanted you to buy her expensive jewellery, and isn't interested in someone who won't
沒有進(jìn)一步了解其中的背景，我們無從得知。我猜你可能想要我們說她是一個(gè)無情的拜金女。只有你給她錢和昂貴的珠寶，她才會對你表現(xiàn)出興趣。但是事實(shí)可能不是這樣?？赡苡幸恍┢渌脑?。這些可能與你對于鉆石的評價(jià)沒有什么關(guān)系?；蛟S可能是因?yàn)樗娴暮芟矚g鉆石。喜歡鉆石的某種特殊的含義。你可能本身就是錯(cuò)的。正如其他人所說的那樣。即使她真的想要一枚鉆戒?？赡苋匀挥泻芏嗟脑颉１热缢胍粋€(gè)承諾，但是你卻不給她承諾。她想讓你給她買昂貴的珠寶。她可能對那些不愿意給她承諾的人不感興趣。
她喜歡鉆石或者是首飾，但是你卻完全不在意她的興趣。這本身并不意味著她是一個(gè)拜金女。她可能愿意自己存錢或者是自己花錢。但是她不喜歡別人告訴她喜歡的東西沒有價(jià)值。雖然我對珠寶不感興趣，但是我花錢買了很多沒用的東西。而且我敢打賭，你肯定也花錢買了很多別人認(rèn)為不值的東西。
, Lives a charmed life.
Diamonds are composed of carbon, it’s true.But to your ex, diamonds were more than just carbon. They’re a symbol. Their alleged rarity, and inflated cost mean they’re something that only the most devoted partner would purchase for their betrothed. Your dismissal of that symbol was probably interpreted as “he’s not into me as much as he should be”, and she dismissed you.
鉆石是由碳元素構(gòu)成的，這是真的。但是對于你的前女友來說，鉆石并不僅僅只是碳，鉆石是一個(gè)象征。鉆石所代表的稀有性和高昂的價(jià)格意味著只有那些最忠誠的伴侶才會為她們的未婚妻購買。你對這個(gè)符號完全不屑，可能會被她認(rèn)為是你對她沒有什么興趣。所以最終她拒絕了你。
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我對此很有感觸。一方面我能夠理解她的觀點(diǎn)。畢竟花2萬美元買一顆鉆石，確實(shí)能夠傳遞一個(gè)明確的信息。這個(gè)信息就是你必須收買她的感情。她因?yàn)槟銢]有給她買鉆石就甩了你。這就是你需要的證據(jù)。如果她真的愛你的話，她應(yīng)該會在這個(gè)問題上和你進(jìn)行坦率的溝通。當(dāng)然如果你真的愛她的話，你也會去買那個(gè)鉆石。所以我認(rèn)為你們倆的結(jié)局是自然而然的。
The problem with diamonds is that they are legitimately inflated in price from De Beers, who infamously used the media to gaslight people into demanding them. It’s a real conspiracy that many people are aware of, but many don’t acknowledge because it still holds value in their minds.You might be one of them. I personally disagree with diamonds being that an important part of our society.
鉆石本身的問題在于戴比爾斯公司以合理合法的方式抬高了鉆石的價(jià)格。戴比爾斯曾經(jīng)利用媒體抬高了鉆石的價(jià)格。這是很多人都知道的一個(gè)陰謀。但是也有很多人不愿意去承認(rèn)。在很多人的頭腦當(dāng)中，鉆石依然是有價(jià)值的。你可能就是其中之一。我個(gè)人并不認(rèn)為鉆石真的有那么重要。
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, in the case of gemstones (and precious metals), the same is true. Diamonds have historically been valuable just because people valued them.I have learned some interesting comparisons when traveling. Remember that golden mask of Tutankhamun? We would consider that extraordinarily valuable. It was considered valuable in Tutankhamun’s time, too, but not EXTRAORDINARILY valuable. In fact, gold was pretty common in Egypt at that time.
情人眼里出西施。對于寶石或者是那些貴金屬也是這樣的。從歷史上來看，鉆石之所以有價(jià)值，是因?yàn)槿藗兎浅Ｖ匾曀?。我曾?jīng)進(jìn)行過廣泛的旅行。我進(jìn)行了一些有趣的對比。你還記得圖坦卡蒙的金色面具嗎？我認(rèn)為這本身是非常有價(jià)值的。在圖坦卡蒙那個(gè)年代，珠寶鉆石就被認(rèn)為是非常有價(jià)值的東西。但是可能沒有今天地位那么高。事實(shí)上在當(dāng)時(shí)的埃及，黃金是非常普遍的東西。
那個(gè)時(shí)候白銀要稀有的多。因此當(dāng)時(shí)白銀被認(rèn)為更有價(jià)值。如果圖坦卡蒙的面具是用銀制作的，那么古埃及人會認(rèn)為銀質(zhì)的面具比黃金的面具更有價(jià)值。這一看法來自于我開羅的私人導(dǎo)游。和埃及的很多導(dǎo)游一樣，在被授予導(dǎo)游證之前，他也要被進(jìn)行嚴(yán)格的考驗(yàn)。我旅行另外一個(gè)例子是中美洲。很抱歉，我忘記是哪一個(gè)國家了。中美洲每一個(gè)國家我都去過。我去看了一些博物館。里面有一些精致的物品。當(dāng)然也有一些其它的珠寶飾物。
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他們都是神的象征，對于他們的文化而言，這些都有著非常重要的價(jià)值。因?yàn)樗鼈兯淼臇|西非常重要。我記得當(dāng)中有一些物品是木頭制作的。對于那些推崇它們的人來講，這些物品的價(jià)值和鉆石黃金一樣。我想在某種意義上來講，這有點(diǎn)類似于把立方氧化鋯的價(jià)值放在鉆石之上。很大程度上，這取決于旁觀者究竟是如何來看的，以及他們的心態(tài)怎樣？
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, Hermit writer. Its easier to write a date, then get one.
Thanks for the laugh.
What she heard was this:
“I’m not giving you a diamond engagement ring, ever.”The fact that half the statement is rubbish wouldn't even have entered her awareness. Diamonds are useful in industry. The fact you didn’t know that wasn’t any part of being dumped. You got dumped because you told her you’d never marry her. Or if you did, you wouldn’t be buying her an engagement ring.It seems she valued that diamond ring a lot more than you.
“不會給你買鉆石戒指，永遠(yuǎn)都不會。” 你可能沒意識到你說的是這個(gè)內(nèi)容。鉆石在工業(yè)上很有用，你可能不知道這一點(diǎn)，但是這跟你被甩沒有任何關(guān)系。你被甩是因?yàn)槟愀嬖V她你永遠(yuǎn)不會娶她。就算你知道，你也不會給她買訂婚戒指?？磥硭赡鼙饶愀粗啬敲躲@戒。
, Used dating apps for too long
If you don’t know why you probably have some communication issues that would lead to an unhappy marriage anyway.As many others have pointed out, diamonds are very useful for many different reasons. However, your ex GF values them for a particular reason based on emotions. You were using logic to take a stance likely because of the high cost of a diamond for a ring. In retrospect, you could probably look back and see that to her the value was based on something emotional and had you listened and empathized, maybe you would have been able to come to a compromise instead of getting dumped.
如果你還搞不清楚是因?yàn)槭裁词虑?，那么你們之間可能需要進(jìn)行一些良好的溝通。溝通不良可能會導(dǎo)致你們婚姻不幸福。對于很多人指出的那樣，可能有各種各樣的原因。鉆石確實(shí)是非常有用的。也許你前女友因?yàn)槟撤N特殊的情感而非常重視她。而你卻用一個(gè)邏輯的立場。可能因?yàn)橐粋€(gè)鉆石的成本很高?；叵肫饋砟慊蛟S可能會發(fā)現(xiàn)對于她來講，鉆石的價(jià)值是建立在情感基礎(chǔ)之上的。如果你聽了她的話，感同身受，或許最終你就會做出妥協(xié)。那樣你們最終就能達(dá)成一致，你就不會被甩了。
以后你要注意試著去同情和傾聽。用你自己的話去重復(fù)她說的話。比如“如果我沒聽錯(cuò)，你想……對嗎？” 提高你的聽力和交流的技巧。那就意味著你不需要再跑到論壇上來問別人了。你可以直接和她交流，得到問題的答案。因?yàn)閯e人注定只能夠推測你們的感受。但是我們永遠(yuǎn)無法感同身受。